Nick Cave Teaches Lottie All She Needs to Know About Lottie




i just saw nick cave in concert.

i just saw nick cave and the bad seeds.

afterwards i went wandering around looking for other destroyed and lucid shaking people, found some, i said do you know what you just witnessed, they said yeah, i do, i know what we just saw, we all just saw nick cave, should we sit down, can we just please sit here and not even begin to try to talk about it?

Then we bowed our heads and thanked God that we were on the planet, and that He put someone else on the planet who can bring destroyed children together, and do it with such horrible forceful terrible beauty, and should we rip off our clothes then, here in Stubbs concert park, is that enough of a tribute, i mean, we all agree right, did we just see nick cave in concert? i don't even want to punch all these other people out for being unworthy, he took all of that out of me, can anybody think straight right now? No? Good, we should all agree to drive home slow.

i drove home slow.

ok, listen up, zitpoppers-

the key to getting the most out of a nick cave concert is preparation, i am one of many who has been preparing for over a decade, the second i pulled up i started crying, this is the weeping song.

lotsa people in line acting weird, jittery, pacing, running up to doorman screaming HAS HE BEEN ON YET DID WE MISS HIM, ARE YOU SURE, I MEAN 100% SURE, ok, that was me, but still, people hugging each other, crying, crossing themselves, shoe heels clicking like we were preparing for a sit-down with the long twin ghost of elvis presley's brother, which of course, we were.

Preparation; evidence of user-friendly discordant discipline relevant to every tall, pale, sickly, rail-thin, chainsmoking  footstomp, wailing, screaming, yowling, earsmashing drum-cymbol smishsmash, atonal guitar skweeeeel and blood-dripping violin arpeggios  so not only can you do it along with Nick, in severe Nick time, tall, pale skinny, chainsmoking etc. but you can tell everyone around you when it's about to happen by screaming your lungs out angelically  1-2-3- and around we go here we go here he comes mister

stagger-lee—  squeel, wail, twirl once, stamp stamp coughing fit, stamp stomp twirl heroically, vomit, thump chest w/spear of destiny, fuck up the sun babble ezra pound in pig latin fuck up the sun back down again, moan, moan, moan, moan, blow a hole into the madonna painted on the wall in whale's blood and banana leaves, slap thigh 6 times polyrythymically, fall to knees, foam at mouth,  climb up over fifty good pussies just to get to one fat boy's asshole, he messed up the lyrics so i started screaming them out (preparation) ok here comes the bridge nick, come on let’s jump off together, no, don't look at me no no never never look at me hitchin up my skirt, BITCH!  When he sang god is in the house i climbed on top of the jailhouse roof and contorted myself into human halo hanging above his raven head anointing him with my sacred sweat, snot, tears, piss, sickly greenish nicotine phlegm, crying, laughing, bent-over double, making deals with the devil, just one lightning bolt and i'll be bad forever, i promise, just one please, right on top of his bald-spot, please i'll be bad i promise, you know what a mythmaker i can be when sober—

i'm not much to look at

i'm nothing to see

but i can free the devils daughter

in the me in you and and the you in me

So after the concert my section wandered around looking like we'd just been fucked for 15 hours straight by a fugitive from a chain gang, all but the wimmin of course, who are by nature liars, thieves, sexless whores, traitors, fakes, harlots, imitators, hypocrites, disc jockeys, bootleggers, complainers, plagiarists, j.p. sartre's glistening blank holes, amoral moralists, endlessly demanding and doubly unrewarding psychiatric on-line support group zeros, not too bright and couldn't care less backstabbing bitches, stick-in-the-mud, blooldless, yammering, skanks, paperwork, bullshit, profiteers, , daytime TV talk-show filler, carnivorous, obtuse, redundant, self-obsessed, empty-hearted, always ignorant but never uncertain, doltified with the dregs of seatbelt wearing, child-aborting vicious kitty cuddlers but that's only on an average dunghill....


oh i hate them all

oh i hate them all

oh i hate them ALL!!!!!!!


for what they went and done to you

nick knows what they went and done to you.


can i see my chart now, thanks.

















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