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I search all night and can't find any info on you, no email address huh?
Can't say I blame you, your needs are light years ahead of what most of us have
in our therapeutic bag of tricks. But you won't give anyone a chance, that
makes it hard you know, makes us go all experimental on you, in case one random
dart might eventually find the mark. I've gotten close before, now I try to get
closer.
I don't know if you're out there reading
this now, if you even know of my site, but if so, please let me know you are
ok. My phone number is
leave a message and I'll get back asap.
888888888, you can come live with
me for a while, I really wish you would, drop everything, get on the bus.
I have a guest room and Austin is
totally boomin in terms of things to do, you don't need much money to exist
here, money is not hard to come by, Austin's a laid-back place, known for
attracting those who come specifically because they are much like you, young,
gifted and lost. You will find kindred spirits here, that's the history, and it
endures.
No, we don't know each other's names, and that's a detail, I've done
this before, people showin up sometimes out of the blue, we stay together until
they are ready to leave. That's it. Whatever coping tools you're depending on
that the world hates you for are guaranteed to make me yawn, cocaine, heroin,
boys, bourbon, whatever, christ, it is a non-issue in times like these in homes
like mine. I'm not here to reform you.
As for the school thing, discriminating on you for being a psychiatric
patient, that's a good fight, but it's not the only one in town, especially if
it makes you kill yourself. Some of the smartest people I know dropped
out of college, I dropped out of high school, yet have been told that 2 weeks
w/me is like a year at Harvard, really honey, college is not the only way
to get an education. Our public library is award-winning, Austin is the
literary capital of the nation, number 6 in artists in residence, you want to
expand your world, you will be in good hands here from all four corners.
Being around me will not be uncomfortable, I love you, and love always
triumphs. I have hundreds of books, old Sassy and Jane magazines, dozens of
videos, 2 affectionate cats, a cappuccino machine and one thousand one hundred
compact discs to listen to at all hours as loud as you want. You can spend all
day online while I'm at work. I am domestic, able to provide the kind of soft,
feminine environment you need to feel safe and nourished as you gently or
screamingly find your way back to yourself.
Transportation is a phone call away, I am also very familiar w/the free
social service agencies, your meds and doctors we can take care of in 2 days.
All the dbt therapy you missed out on hon, I am an expert in, no shit.
No matter what, I promise I will not have you committed, and will fight
for your autonomy if some p-doc feels otherwise.
I'm hitting your bullseyes
888888888, I hope you can trust that on face value.
Speakin of bullseyes, you hit one of mine long ago, w/ three words that
knocked me out, made me see the talent, sorry i never went the length on this,
but you know me I AM BITCHED.
Do you remember, you must have
been so angry you posted the typo in your heading: They Are Bitched. It's
powerful. Hemingway said so himself: “We are all bitched from the start and you
especially have to be hurt like hell before you can write seriously.”
And then the whole 8888888 thing, this is about talent, we don't have to
know what it means, the idea is to stick around, and we might find out.
Just please at least don't do anything w/out talking to me first, not
that I can make it all better, but remember me telling you about strange,
strong female hands pulling me out of the pit when I was awaiting the first shovel
of dirt? Did I happen to mention how glad I am today, that I took the
initiative and reached back, going on nothing but a cynical hope, a half-assed
dare? You've heard it before, and it pisses you off, your situation lumped in
with people's who don't know dick about yours, and they say well fuck you
spoiled bitch, I was only trying to help. This is boring, it should bore you.
Bore you, not kill you.
Nothing anyone had to offer turned out to be enough for me, my prayer is
that nothing will come thru for you too. Nothing's a funny thing, 88888 it
bears investigation.
Wherever you are, whatever you've
done, you are not alone... My hotheaded number 8 would try to make me eat those
words, well, I am available for the hell you give, at the least you know you
owe it to your suffering not to go out w/out one witness, your pain demands a
witness, you haven't even begun to turn the whole fuckin world on its head.
This will be your redemption, if you have to destroy half my trailer, it's been
done before, then we celebrate your purification...
Speakin for the whole community I say we are crazy about you, please
check in somewhere soon as you're able.
love, robin
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